Setting the Matter Straight
by Aliane
Summary: ~*~CHAPTER 9 UP!!! ~*~ Angsty fluff. Sequel to Until Death Do Us Part. Jaina, after reflecting on Jag's words, becomes rather incensed...
1. Default Chapter

This is a sequel to my viggie, Until Death Do Us Part. If you haven't already read that, I suggest you do, because then everything will make more sense. It's set directly after Dark Journey and incorporates a few of Elaine Cunningham's lines. Well, here goes!  
  
Oh, and this is George's playground.  
  
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Chapter One  
  
After the battle, Shawnkyr took me aside and warned me that in implying that I'd honor you as a commander, I was putting my pilots in the service of Hapes' future queen. That I was taking sides in the coming coup.  
  
Jaina Solo rolled over and pounded a fist into her pillow. Stop! She screamed mentally at herself. But it was to no avail.  
  
Congratulations, Lieutenant. Or would 'Your Majesty' be more appropriate?  
  
Jaina clutched her head in a futile effort to stop the scene from replaying in her mind.  
  
I was stopped on my way to find and warn Tenel Ka. You're of legal age and don't require your parents' permission. If you wish to marry Isolder, no one can stop you. Logically speaking, what would this obstacle be but Queen Mother Teneniel Djo?  
  
She sat up, breathing hard.  
  
If you wish to marry Isolder, no one can stop you.  
  
If you wish to marry Isolder, no one can stop you.  
  
If you wish to marry Isolder, no one can stop you.  
  
The words echoed and reechoed in her mind. Before, she had been too caught up in rescuing first Jag then Teneniel Djo to pay much heed to his words. Since then, however, she had had ample time to think and contemplate what Jag had said.  
  
If you wish to marry Isolder.  
  
She flung herself out of bed and began pacing her small room. What did he mean? Did he really think I'd want to marry Isolder, my friend's father? She stopped pacing. Am I really that low in his estimation?  
  
She cursed aloud angrily. "Why should I care what he thinks?" She accosted the room at large.  
  
She resumed pacing, fragments of previous conversations with Jag ricocheting in her mind.  
  
The rank you were born in suits you very well. Anything more would be redundant.  
  
Why did he warn me off like that? And then accuse me of wanting to marry Isolder, for Force's sake? Surely a Hapan prince is far above the son of a Corellian baron in the social ladder.  
  
Congratulations, Lieutenant. Or would 'Your Majesty' be more appropriate?  
  
I cannot believe that Jag would think I would marry Isolder! Jaina seethed. Just goes to show how much he knows! She paused. "How could he?!!" She yelled aloud.  
  
The queen's retainers were of the impression that you were another Ta'a Chume, an ambitious woman who would gladly seize this opportunity.  
  
Okay, I admit it. His opinion means a lot to me, and it hurts, oh, how it hurts when he could believe that I would marry the father of one of my best friends just to get ahead in life! Another Ta'a Chume? That woman is an evil, grasping schemer, and Jag believes that I'm exactly like her??  
  
Finally, Jaina couldn't take it anymore. Throwing on a loose robe, she slammed out of her quarters and down the hallway, seeking a certain Imperial colonel to set him straight on a few matters.  
  
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Well, tell me what you think! 


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, btw, this story is plotless. Forgot to mention that in the first post... So, if you don't like plotless, angsty fluffkins, then this ain't the story for you.  
  
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Chapter Two  
  
Jaina walked down the corridor, her robe flapping behind her. Reaching Jag's room, she knocked on the door. "Jag?" When there was no response, she pounded harder. "Jag! I know you're in there!" When she still received no answer, she became impatient and used the Force to physically slide the door open. "Ja-" She stopped suddenly. Jag was lying on his bed, the sheet and blanket on the floor, dressed in nothing but black boxers. Fire shot through her entire body, and her stomach flipped. She gulped, her throat suddenly dry as her eyes quickly swept up his sculpted back muscles and came to rest on his handsome face. Kriff. He's so amazingly hot. Jaina licked her lips, walking over to him and tentatively shaking his shoulder. "Jag?" she said again, this time with none of her former animosity.  
  
Jag's eyes flickered open. "Wha. Jaina?" He squinted as the harsh light from the corridor splashed across his bed. "What are you doing in. SITH!!!"  
  
He suddenly realized where he was and what he was wearing-- or not wearing, to be more exact. Scrabbling madly for the covers, a shirt, anything to protect his dignity, he lost his balance and fell to the floor with a thump. Flailing wildly, his hands finally found the blanket he was looking for and he wrapped it around himself. Oh kriff, I've never been so humiliated in my entire life! he thought, squeezing his eyes shut. Please let this be a nightmare. Please please please. Jaina Solo is not in my room, she did not just see me fall out of my bed. She DID NOT see me practically naked.  
  
Jag was doing such a good job of convincing himself that he was scared witless when her voice sounded right above him.  
  
Jaina was breathing hard. Jag is so incredibly sexy when he's just been woken up. Suddenly, before her thoughts could continue any futher in that direction, something Jag had said ean through her head. The rank you were born in suits you very well. Anything more would be redundant. She took a shuddery breath. Why? Force, why does he have to hate me so much?? "Jag, I have to talk to you." She licked her lips.  
  
Jag stood and slowly turned to sit on his bed, avoiding her gaze. "What was so important that you couldn't wait until morning to barge in on me?" he asked, his face red.  
  
Jaina blushed as well. "Ummm. well. I."  
  
Jag sighed exasperatedly. "Look. Either tell me why you're here or let me go back to sleep. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted." His embarrassment at being caught in such a position was making his temper short.  
  
Jaina's face flushed even redder. "I'm sorry. Sorry." Now, the whole thing seemed silly. "I don't know why I burst in here. Sorry." I'm not really sorry, she continued silently. I quite enjoyed the show, actually.  
  
Jag's eyes flicked across her body and just as quickly shot away, the heat in his face intensifying. Is it just me, or is it suddenly really hot in here? he thought, doing his best to avoid thinking about the fact that Jaina Solo didn't wear very much to bed.  
  
Jaina looked down to see the cause of his further embarrassment and felt like crawling into a very small hole. She grabbed for her robe which had come untied during their conversation and retied it tightly. Why, oh why is this happening to me?? she cried mentally, unaware of the fact that very similar sentiments were running through Jag's head. "I'll. er, I'll leave you alone now," she stammered, turning and beating a hasty exit.  
  
She slammed the door shut behind her with the Force and leaned her head back against it. I can't believe that just happened. I can't. I behaved so stupidly, I wouldn't be surprised if he left for home tomorrow without even a goodbye. Tears formed in her eyes. Everyone leaves me, sooner or later. I guess it's a good thing he's leaving sooner, before he has a chance to break my heart even more. Good thing? Who am I kidding? I love him. Sliding down to sit on the floor, she dropped her face down on her knees and cried.  
  
Little did she know, on the other side of the door a similar scene was being played out. Once the door slammed shut behind Jaina, Jag flung himself back on the bed. Oh stars, this has got to be the most embarrassing night of my entire life, he thought. I love her, she hates me, and I just embarrassed myself in front of the breathtaking girl I'm in love with, who in all likelihood is in love with Kyp Durron. Perfect. Just perfect. She must be so revolted. I wouldn't be surprised if she never speaks to me again after she asks me to go back to Nirauan tomorrow.  
  
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And so the curtain falls on our tragic lovers, each unaware of the other's feelings because it's just so much more fun that way... 


	3. Chapter 3

Well, here it is, just like I promised... I hope you like this post. I was cracking up as I wrote it...  
  
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Chapter Three  
  
Kyp tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. Something was bothering him, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. He thumped his pillow in frustration. No one's dead, he reasoned. No one's in serious trouble. wait a minute. Stretching out with his senses, he encountered two very tumultuous presences in the Force that could only belong to two people. Only Jaina's presence was that strong, and there was only one person that could react as strongly to her: Jag Fel.  
  
Kyp chuckled exasperatedly into his pillow. Honestly, how much shoving and interference do they need until they realize they're in love with each other? He waited a bit, then swung his legs out of the bed. The Force will never let me go to sleep until this mess gets straightened out, he thought, getting dressed. For some reason, the Force dictates that they have to be together.  
  
Why couldn't they have just made things easier for everyone and just kiss and make up/out? Kyp opened the door and strode down the hallway. Oh, wait. I'm talking about the daughter of Han Solo and the daughter of Darth Vader, not to mention the son of Soontir Fel and the nephew of Wedge Antilles. They're genetically predisposed to do things the hard way. Okay, then. Why did I have to be the one to get them together??  
  
Rounding the corner, Kyp continued complaining to the Force, or whatever happened to be listening. It's not fair. Why did I have to be the one to be stuck baby-sitting two lovesick, hormonal teenagers-well, young adults, anyway. Most baby-sitters want to keep their charges from making out in a dark closet somewhere. But oh, no. I didn't get the easy job. I have to try and get them to make out!  
  
Kyp huffed. What is this going to take? Do I have to lock them into a room together and turn out the lights? He smirked. Well, at least they'd come to their senses, then! If I know Fel, he isn't gonna be able to keep his hormones in check. He'd last longer than most people I know, but he's still human. Yep, waaaaaaaaay down in there. And Jaina's a very attractive young girl.  
  
He grinned. Maybe that's what I should do. But I mean, come on! Must I draw them a picture? Okay, class, it's time to fall in love! Put this here, and that there, and tada! You're done.  
  
Shaking his head at the sheer obliviousness of the two youngsters, he rounded another corner and stopped. Jaina sat propped against Jag's door, head in her hands, sobbing. Just then, she looked up. "Oh, Kyp," she moaned dejectedly, tears rolling down her face. She stood up and hugged him, her tears soaking into his shirt.  
  
Great, Kyp thought. Just come sob on my shoulder. Yep, that's me, Uncle Kyppie. Do I have a sign on my forehead saying "Come Cry On Me" or something??  
  
He said none of this out loud, though. Instead, he rubbed Jaina's back and murmured comforting noises. "Shh," he said softly. "Everything'll be okay."  
  
"No, they won't!" Jaina sobbed. "He hates me, and I just made a monkey- lizard of myself in there!"  
  
Kyp choked on a chuckle as he suddenly envisioned a monkey-lizard with Jaina's features. It was, all in all, quite an amusing picture.  
  
Jaina raised her head at the sound. "Do you think this is funny?" she asked angrily.  
  
"Of course not, Jaina," Kyp soothed, pulling her back into his arms. "I was just imagining you as a monkey-lizard."  
  
This earned a watery chuckle. "I suppose it is kinda funny," she conceded. Her shoulders shuddered with a sigh.  
  
"Everything will look better in the morning," Kyp said. "Right now, you're overstrung and exhausted. After you get a good night's rest, the universe will be a better place."  
  
Jaina leaned her head back and smiled. "Not to mention several pots of caf," she said, smiling. "And we mustn't forget the staple food of the pilot: pastries."  
  
"You're absolutely right," Kyp smiled back. He liked holding Jaina. He didn't have any romantic ideas about their relationship. He loved her, it was true, but with the love of an older brother. And he knew she reciprocated his feelings. They had a deep bond, but it was the bond of siblings. He knew her heart lay elsewhere, and his. well, it was currently lying dormant in his chest like so many lumps of raw dough.  
  
Jaina grinned as she caught his thoughts. "Your heart is anything but dormant," she said softly. "And thanks so much, Kyp. I love you." Again, it was the sibling bond that spoke. She reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek.  
  
They both spun when they heard a stifled gasp behind them. Kyp stared into the burning eyes of one irate Chiss Colonel. If looks were lasers, there'd be nothing left of me right now except a pile of ashes.  
  
"Jag." Jaina whispered.  
  
Jag turned without a word and slid the door shut. He'd seen all he wanted to see.  
  
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Dundundun! And the curtain falls once more on the tragic lovers, their fates and hearts being twisted by the evil, hyper Jaina Fel... 


	4. Chapter 4

On to the next chapter...  
  
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Chapter Four  
  
Jag walked up behind Jaina, who was busy tinkering with her X-Wing. "Jaina," he said softly.  
  
Jaina jumped and turned. "Jag! What are you doing here?"  
  
Jag searched her face for any sign of animosity towards him. Finding none, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for being so difficult," he said.  
  
Jaina tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and laughed. "Don't worry about it," she said. "I haven't been the easiest person to get along with either. And I'll admit it, I did go out of my way to give you a hard time. But I'm sorry."  
  
"Jaina, I love you," Jag blurted out. His face turned red. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean-" He turned to go, but Jaina grabbed his arm.  
  
"Did you mean that?" she asked, an incredulous look on her face.  
  
"Of course I did," Jag murmured. "I've loved you ever since I first shot you down in the sims at Ithor."  
  
Jaina laughed. "Not the most romantic thing to say to a girl." She brought her free hand up to caress Jag's face. "But I've been in love with you since then too. It just took me a lot longer to realize it."  
  
Jag stared at her. "What did you just say?" he whispered.  
  
"I love you." Jaina stared into Jag's eyes. "I love you, Jagged Fel."  
  
Jag was astonished. Never in all of his life had he imagined that Jaina might actually love him. After what he'd seen the night before, he had been sure that she was in love with Kyp. She had kissed him, for Force's sake! Well, obviously he was wrong. He put both of his arms around her and pulled her close to his body. He leaned down and kissed her gently, almost as if he was afraid she'd break.  
  
Jaina closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. Pulling him closer, she opened her mouth in invitation.  
  
Jag was stunned. Here he was, kissing Jaina Solo in the middle of the hangar bay in plain view of anyone that cared to see. Thank whatever powers that govern this universe that Han Solo is far, far away, he thought.  
  
Jaina moaned and brought her hands up to run them through Jag's hair. For the first time in his life, he wished his hair could feel. What would it feel like to have Jaina's hands on my body. his thoughts trailed off as he broke for air, gasping.  
  
Jaina leaned her forehead against his. "Wow," she murmured.  
  
Jag chuckled. "Wow indeed." He caught his breath as he stared into Jaina's brandy eyes, full of love and desire. For him. He closed his eyes and gulped, then opened them again and found himself staring at the ceiling in his quarters, his pillow clutched tightly in his arms.  
  
"Kriff!" he swore under his breath, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes to try and bring back the dream, but all he saw instead was Jaina's lips caressing Kyp's face. "Thanks so much, Kyp. I love you." Those three words, which should have had him jumping for joy, instead had smashed his world to pieces.  
  
He rolled over and pounded the pillow with his fist. How I wish this was Kyp's face! he thought. No, Fel, you ingrate, Kyp's saved your life countless times. And if Jaina loves him, then, well, she loves him.  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek. How ironic that I don't realize how much I really love her until I can't have her. She's not mine, and she never will be, now. His shoulders slumped. The only thing to do now is to go home, he said to himself. Go home and forget that she even exists.  
  
He sat up, meaning to get dressed and then explain to his uncle why he had to go. But something stopped him. Uncle Wedge. Mother's brother. How would he feel if I left? Mom's never talked much about him, but I know they loved each other very, very much. He hasn't seen her in over twenty years, and now I'm his only link to her. I can't leave. I can't break my uncle's heart.  
  
Sighing, he laid back down. Well, the only thing to do now is avoid Jaina as much as possible. If I don't see her, maybe my heart will heal. He laughed bitterly. It'll only ever heal if I forget about her. And that's never going to happen. Ever.  
  
He stared up at the plaster ceiling that had exactly 3, 207 bumps on it. He knew. He'd counted. There was an aching hole in his chest where his heart had been until he'd so foolishly opened the door last night. I wanted to see if she was still there, he admitted. And if she had been, I would have asked her what was wrong. He closed his eyes on what he knew was going to happen. He would see Jaina kiss Kyp, and hear over and over the words, "Thanks so much, Kyp. I love you." The pieces of his heart would shatter into even smaller pieces again and again. It had already happened countless times in the few short hours since he had opened that thrice-cursed door.  
  
He stared up at the ceiling and once again began counting the bumps in an effort to distract his heart.  
  
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Fwahaha!!! You didn't REALLY think I'd make it THAT easy, did you?? 


	5. Chapter 5

Well, here it is...  
  
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Chapter Five  
  
Jaina hummed as she tinkered with her X-Wing in the hangar bay. Messing around with machines had always relaxed her and taken her mind off difficult situations. Force knows I need a distraction now, she thought. I keep thinking about Jag.  
  
She sighed and wiped her hands on an already greasy cloth. Why does he hate me so much? She checked the gauges and discovered that she needed more cooling fluid. Popping the engine cover, she stuck a rubber hose in and began pumping coolant into the appropriate tank. Humming tunelessly, she patted the fuselage of her ship affectionately. Once she finished refilling, she removed the hose and was about to put it up when she heard a voice.  
  
"Jaina?" It was Jag. Startled, Jaina swing around, hose in hand, and caught Jag across the face with it.  
  
"Oh, Sith," she muttered venomously, her face crimson. "I-I'm really sorry, Jag. You just startled me, I-"  
  
Jag, one hand clamped to his face, waved off her apologies and left the hangar without another word. Jaina watched him leave, then slid down to sit on the floor and cradled her face in her hands. Why do I have to be so clumsy whenever he's around? she thought angrily. Why can't I be myself? Why can't he see something in me besides a bumbling idiot?  
  
She was so wrapped up in her shame and anger that she didn't notice when someone entered the hangar.  
  
"Jaina?" Kyp knelt in front of the distraught young woman and stroked her hair. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Oh, Kyp," Jaina said, raising her stricken face. "Kyp!" She burst into tears, sobbing and clutching at his shirt.  
  
Kyp took her into his arms "It's okay, Solo," he said. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll go away, eventually."  
  
Jaina shook her head against his shoulder. "It'll never be better," she sobbed. "He hates me!"  
  
Kyp rolled his eyes. Not again, he thought. What is this going to take? Palpatine back from the grave?? "Tell me about it," he suggested. "What happened?"  
  
Jaina swallowed. "Well, I was in here fixing my ship, and I was pumping coolant into the radiator. And-and Jag startled me, and I turned around and accidentally smacked him in the face with the hose!" Bursting into a wave of fresh tears at this narration, Jaina clutched Kyp tighter.  
  
Kyp struggled to keep a straight face as Jaina's tears soaked his shirt. If she keeps this up, all my shirts will be ruined from too much exposure to saline solutions, he thought wryly. There's gotta be a sign on my forehead. "I'm sure it'll be okay," he said soothingly.  
  
Jaina sat up abruptly. "Why do people always say it'll be okay?" she demanded. "It won't, it won't!"  
  
Kyp held his hands up defensively. "Okay, it won't," he said. "You're right. Jag will never forgive you, he'll have a scar the size of his ego- wait, scratch that-nothing's that big. Okay, he'll have a scar the size of his face, and you'll die an old maid because every guy in the universe will be afraid to come near you for fear that you'll beat them to death with a rubber hose!"  
  
Jaina stared at him, then began laughing. "No matter what happens you always make me laugh," she said. "You're my best friend, Kyp." She leaned against him once more.  
  
"And you're mine too, Jaina," Kyp replied. After a few moments, his stomach rumbled and they both laughed. "What say we blow this kiddy stand and go get some. Well, whatever the substitute for food is on this base?"  
  
Jaina chuckled. "Okay, Kyp." Standing up, she pulled Kyp to his feet. She laughed when she heard his knees pop. "Getting old, Grandpa Kyppie?"  
  
Kyp lightly smacked her bottom and grinned when she squealed. "Old or not, I can still whip your tush sparring."  
  
Jaina stuck her tongue out at him. "Promises, promises," she called over her shoulder. "Race you to the mess hall!" Taking off, she sprinted for the door.  
  
"Not fair!" Kyp called after her. When she didn't stop, he slammed the door of the hangar bay shut with the Force. Jogging up to meet her, he said, "We'll start on three, okay? One, two-" He opened the door and sped through it. Jaina raced after him, easily passing him after the first few seconds. Force, she's in good shape! Kyp thought, as he watched her run through the corridors without tiring.  
  
Arriving at the mess hall panting for breath, he grimaced as his side cramped. "Jaina," he ground out, "We're never, ever racing again."  
  
Jaina grinned, her face devoid of sweat and her breathing normal. "Why not? Right now, I feel like a good, solid twenty kilometer run!"  
  
Kyp leveled a finger at her. "You do that, you do it alone."  
  
Jaina giggled and shook her head. "Come on, old man," she said "Our meal awaits."  
  
Kyp followed Jaina into the mess hall and took his place in line. Looking around the room, he nearly choked when he saw Jag. The younger man was sporting a large red welt on the side of his face. From Jaina's indrawn breath, he knew she had seen it too.  
  
Jaina's lower lip began to tremble. She'd never been so humiliated in her entire life!  
  
Kyp spotted the telltale quiver. "Buck up, Solo," he said quietly. "Relax. Everyone probably thinks he walked into a tree or something." Under his breath, he added, "Force knows he's oblivious enough to pull something like that off."  
  
Jaina turned to face him with a glare. "I heard that!" she said. "Why do I have to keep reminding you, Kyp? You get me mad, I have connections. My father blew up two Death Stars, my uncle is the head of the Jedi Order, and my mother is former Chief of State." She paused. "And if you think you can take all of them on, well, just remember, I have an aunt too."  
  
Kyp paled visibly at the mention of Mara. "I-I'll keep that in mind."  
  
"Good." Turning back to the server droid, Jaina asked, "Which would you recommend: the green plastic-looking meat or the gray mush?"  
  
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So... what did you think?? 


	6. Chapter 6

Well, here it is... Sorry it's so short, but I'm working on the next postie...  
  
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Chapter Six  
  
Jag looked up from his meal when he heard laughter coming from the hallway outside the mess hall. He paled when he saw Jaina walk in followed closely by Kyp, both in stitches. I wish I could make her laugh like that, he thought wistfully. But I can't. All I ever do is make her yell or cry. She's so beautiful when she laughs.  
  
He burned with jealousy as he saw Kyp put an arm around Jaina possessively. He wanted to stand up and yell, "She's mine!" for the whole base to hear. But he couldn't. She wasn't his, and she never would be. He closed his eyes, then opened them to see Jaina staring straight at him. He swallowed convulsively, unable to look away until she did.  
  
Jag sighed with disappointment as she turned away from him to speak with Durron. Reaching up, he fingered the large red welt on his face and winced. He didn't mind terribly, it had just stung for the first few minutes. For the rest of the time, it only throbbed with an ache that was the most painful thing he'd ever felt. But he didn't mind.  
  
"Colonel?" Jag was shaken out of his reverie by Shawnkyr's voice.  
  
"Sorry, Shawnkyr, what was that?" He turned to look at his Chiss second-in- command. "I didn't hear you."  
  
Just then, Jaina's laughter rang out over the dull roar of conversation in the mess hall. Jag's head swung around as if pulled by a string. Her face was wreathed in smiles at something Durron had said. Force, she's beautiful.  
  
She and Kyp got their food then left the line still laughing. I never knew Durron was such a wit, Jag thought. He restrained the urge to get up and wave the duo to join him and Shawnkyr at their table. They turned to go sit at the noisiest table in the room, but hesitated for a moment in the middle of the hall. Jaina pointed to an empty table for two, balancing her tray in her free hand. Kyp nodded and followed her, draping an arm over her shoulders.  
  
Jag snorted. Shawnkyr looked at him, injured. "What, Colonel? You don't think my observations are accurate?"  
  
"No, no," Jag hastened to say. "I'm sorry. That wasn't aimed at you." He narrowed his eyes at the pair of Jedi. "Excuse me." He shoved his chair back from the table and got up, intent on talking to Jaina. He didn't care what inane babble emerged from his mouth; he just wanted to be near her.  
  
Making his way purposefully towards Kyp and Jaina, Jag mentally rehearsed what he would say to her. "Hi, ummm. er. Hi." Oh yeah, he thought sarcastically, real smooth, Fel. I'm sure that eloquent little speech'll sweep her off her feet-she'll faint before my eloquence. What about, "Hi, Jaina. I happened to be passing, and guess what? I love you!"  
  
He groaned aloud, closing his eyes. What am I going to say? He wondered, coming up to their table.  
  
Just then, a pilot stood up and bumped into Jag, causing him to lose his balance. Flailing wildly but to no avail, Jag crashed down onto Kyp and Jaina's table and somersaulted over it. Jaina shrieked with surprise as her lunch was swept off her plate, reappearing caught up in Jag's hair.  
  
Jag felt his face burn as he went flying, landing at Jaina's feet with a wet splat. Could this possibly get any worse?? He felt tears of embarrassment prick his eyes.  
  
Unfortunately, as happens with all those that say things like that, it did get worse. The table, weakened by one very strong, buff, handsome Chiss colonel somersaulting over it, decided to give way at the precise moment Jag was lying beneath it. The legs buckled and the entire structure came crashing down on the hapless pilot, bringing Jaina with it.  
  
Jaina was confused. One minute she was leaning under the table, staring at Jag who, despite the gray mess dripping from his hair, was still quite, quite hot. In more ways than one, she thought to herself with a giggle, noticing how red his face was. The next moment, she was crashing down on top of Jag together with the table. Not that she minded landing on him, but what had happened?  
  
Jag grunted with mingled pain and surprise as Jaina fell on top of him. Grasping her upper arms and avoiding her face entirely, Jag rolled Jaina off him and bolted for the door, hobbling as fast as he could which, unfortunately, wasn't fast enough.  
  
"Jag!" Jag cringed as he heard the voice of his uncle. Turning, he painfully snapped to attention. "What on earth was all that about?"  
  
"All what, sir?" Jag responded, donning his innocent face.  
  
Wedge gestured at where Jaina and Kyp's table had formerly resided. "That!"  
  
Jag grimaced at the sight that met his eyes. Jaina half-sat, half-laid half- under, half-on top of the collapsed table. Kyp was leaning back in his chair, laughing until he cried at the sorry picture before him. The pilots in the mess hall were clustered about the recent scene of so many embarrassments, joining their voices to Kyp's. Jaina then began to laugh as well. When Jag saw this, he closed his eyes and turned away, feeling a tear slip from his eye.  
  
"Nothing, sir," he choked, then turn and limped towards his room. As soon as he turned the corner, he slumped against the wall and let several more tears fall. Why do I have to be so clumsy whenever he's around? he thought angrily. Why can't I be myself? Why can't she see something in me besides a bumbling idiot?  
  
(Sound familiar? It should. Unfortunately, Jag doesn't have a Kypster to relieve the situation, so this is gonna hafta stop there. )  
  
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I'm so evil... 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven  
  
Kyp sat at the bar in the pilot's lounge, contemplating his brandy and, far more important, how to get Jag and Jaina to fall for each other. His mind skipped over several possibilities, all of them impossible because he didn't own love potions, really really strong cord, or any of the other innumerable objects necessary to carry out his schemes. And most importantly, he thought, I don't have ysalamiri. I'm gonna hafta comm Karrde and tell him I need some if I expect to die due to natural causes.  
  
Sipping his brandy, he leaned against the counter and noticed a young man sitting to his side, drowning his sorrows with alcohol. Or, more aptly, drowning his alcohol with his sorrows. Kyp grimaced as he watched the whiskey get more and more diluted with salt water as the pilot continued to empty his saline solution sockets into his drink. Kyp recognized the young man as Dagran, a pilot with the Blackmoon squadron.  
  
Kyp turned away, his mind returning to his dilemma. He was yanked from his reverie, however, when the young man choked, "How do you do it?"  
  
Kyp turned and looked behind him. Seeing no one there, he returned his attention to the pitiable sight before him. "Me? Do what?"  
  
The other man laughed sardonically. "You're Kyp Durron. The Kyp Durron. How do you do it?"  
  
Kyp was confused. "Are you asking me how I became Kyp Durron? Well, I hope you know the basic mechanics, because if you don't, I am not explaining the krayts and the gornts to you."  
  
Dagran shook his head and wobbled on his stool. "No," he said. "How do you make women flock to you like piranha beetles to raw flesh?"  
  
Kyp winced. "Lovely analogy," he murmured. "Well, I don't particularly notice the piranha beetles, but I suppose it's because I stole a superweapon, tried to kill my Master, blew up a planet, broke every bone in my body except the three in my ear, and offered my squadron on the proverbial sacrificial altar, so to speak. I don't know; I guess women find that attractive."  
  
Dagran's mouth had dropped as Kyp spoke. "I'll never get her now," he wailed. "I don't know where any superweapons are kept and I don't have a Master to kill!"  
  
Kyp raised an eyebrow. "What exactly is your problem?"  
  
Dagran reached into his pocket and withdrew a holocube imprinted with a picture of a young woman. He tossed it to Kyp. "That's Zela," he said. "The most beautiful girl to ever breathe."  
  
Kyp studied the holo. She certainly isn't bad looking, he admitted. But I wouldn't say she's the most beautiful girl in the universe. Jaina is, he thought fondly with all the pride of an older brother. He returned the cube. "So. what's the problem?" he asked again.  
  
Dagran looked up. "The problem? The problem?! The problem is she'd never fall in love with me!"  
  
Kyp mentally rolled his eyes. Please, please tell me this isn't happening, he thought. Please! Everywhere I go, dense, lovesick individuals follow me. If I have a sign on my forehead saying "Come Cry on Me," then there's definitely a sign in its vicinity saying "I Love Lovesick Lovers. Tell Me About It!"  
  
Dagran mumbled into his cup as he swayed unsteadily on his stool. "So purty. So loverly. So intally.intolly. intelly. smart."  
  
Kyp clapped a hand over his eyes. If I close them reeeeally tightly, I can just imagine Jag sitting here instead of Dagran, he thought wryly. Force, their names even rhyme! Jag... Dag... "Just tell her you love her!"  
  
Dagran stared at him. "Geez, man, you're pasy. posy. really smart!" he slurred. He got up from his seat and staggered out of the lounge calling, "Zela! Ze-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-la! Zela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!!"  
  
Kyp closed his eyes in relief. One potential headache down. Only ten hundred billion more to go. Sighing, he drained the glass and stood to go as well. He needed to get back to his quarters and take some Astarin.  
  
He stood there a few more moments, lost in thought. Then, he shook his head and murmured, "No, that won't work. One, I'm not that sadistic, and two, the reason why I'm not that sadistic, I don't own any stun cuffs."  
  
Walking out of the lounge, he heard a rather large commotion coming from down the hallway. Curious, he followed the noise and turned the corner, then stopped still in surprise. A large group of assorted pilots were clustered around something, and Kyp nearly groaned aloud when he heard the distinctive slur of Dagran.  
  
"And then he just says, 'Tell her you love her.' And so I did, and now look at us." Several wet smacks could be heard as Dagnar paused. "Oh, look. There he is now, Kyp Durron, the Love Doctor!"  
  
The body of pilots turned in one motion and ran towards Kyp. Fearing for his life and/or sanity and/or all of the above, Kyp turned and ran.  
  
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Kyp sprinted into his room and slammed the door shut, breathing hard. His shirt had been torn by too many overeager hands belonging to too many overeager pilots clutching too overeagerly at his clothes as he tried to escape them. Okay, he said to himself, time to settle this once and for all.  
  
Reaching out to the zealots trying to break his door down, he gently nudged their befuddled minds and convinced them that Dagran held all the answers to their problems. He grinned to himself as the pilots all turned and rushed back the way they had come.  
  
However, because he felt the slightest twinge of conscience at subjugating Dagran to that torture, he also managed to convince the drunken young man that he was better off moving the free show to a room. Then, Kyp strode purposefully towards the fresher door. Quickly sliding it open, he went directly to the mirror and peered at his reflection.  
  
What is it about me that invites everyone to share their troubles with me? he wondered. Are my eyes too green? My chin too firm? My features to even? My handsomeness too compelling? Unable to resist, Kyp flexed his arm and admired its reflection. Oh, yeah. I'm so buff. Lookin' good, he thought as he paraded in front of the mirror, humming a jazzy tune.  
  
Kyp, what are you doing?? Jaina's thoughts interrupted his own.  
  
Kyp started guiltily and dropped his arm. "Uh. nothing," he said aloud, blushing. Furiously he thought, Get out of my mind!! Can't you tell when I'm busy?  
  
Of course I can, Jaina taunted. That's always when I need you the most.  
  
Kyp slammed their connection shut after sending a shove through first. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. After inspecting his image a bit longer, he finally decided that his face was too inviting. I smile all the time at everyone, and even when I don't smile, there's that glint in my eye that's just asking for it, he thought. Well, I can fix that!  
  
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Half a standard hour later, Kyp studied his reflection once more. He hadn't bothered to change out of his torn T-shirt and had smeared engine grease all over his face. His upper lip was curled in a perpetual snarl and he squinted his eyes. "Arg," he growled experimentally. I like it.  
  
Kyp swaggered out into the hallway, incorporating a limp as well and snarling at everyone he passed. Needless to say, people began giving him a wide berth when they saw him coming. I'm really enjoying this, he thought. Just then, he saw Jaina go into a conference room down the hallway. Perfect.  
  
Kyp crept stealthily up to the room into which Jaina had gone. Grinning to himself, he suddenly pushed open the door and leapt in, growling. "AAAAAAAARG!!!"  
  
Twenty faces belonging to the New Republic's most prominent citizens snapped around, including the distinguishable features of Wedge Antilles. "Durron, what is the meaning of all this?"  
  
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Sooo... what did you think? 


	8. Chspter 8

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Chapter Eight  
  
Wedge cradled his head in his hands. He'd never been so embarrassed by one of his pilots in his entire life. And considering the fact that he'd flown with Wes Janson for nearly his entire career, that took some doing.  
  
But Janson had never dressed like a vagabond and barreled into a room of NR dignitaries shrieking at the top of his lungs. No, he'd left that particular scenario to Kyp Durron. And boy, had the Jedi done it with a vengeance.  
  
He chuckled wryly. Still, it was pretty funny to see him like that, he mused. And the Goddess. She'll never let him forget that. If he weren't Kyp Durron, I'd feel sorry for him.  
  
The door opened, and Wedge looked up from his private musings. "Sit down, Durron," he said.  
  
Durron sat.  
  
"Explain, Durron," Wedge ordered.  
  
Durron explained.  
  
Midway through, Wedge barked, "Stop!"  
  
Durron stopped.  
  
"Why exactly were you sitting in a bar?" Wedge asked, wondering if he'd heard correctly.  
  
"Well, sir, uh, I was, uh, well." Kyp stuttered, wondering if it had been a good idea to let slip he was trying to coerce Wedge Antilles's nephew to fall in love with the daughter of Han Solo.  
  
Wedge stroked his chin. "You really think she likes him?"  
  
Kyp raised his eyebrows in shock. "Uh, pardon me, sir?"  
  
"You heard me. Do you think Jaina likes my nephew?" Wedge repeated his earlier question.  
  
Kyp smirked. "Well, unless you don't think her sobbing on my shoulder about how much she loves him every time she sees me is a good indication that she likes him."  
  
Wedge quashed a grin. "Durron, I don't like you. If I had my way, you'd be dead and long buried. But, well, Luke, Han, and Jaina obviously trust you. They say the Force moves in mysterious ways. Frankly, I need you help."  
  
Kyp's eyebrows shot up even higher and disappeared into his hairline. "Excuse me? You, Wedge Antilles, are asking me for help? I am Kyp Durron, you know. Still am."  
  
Wedge nodded. "I know it sounds a little strange."  
  
Kyp scoffed. "A little?" Narrowing his eyes, he suddenly leaped over the table and pressed his finger hard against the skin by Wedge's nose.  
  
"Durron, what the hell are you doing?!" Wedge demanded, a little p.o.'d that he'd been knocked out of his seat and his face had been pressed by what appeared to be a Jedi gone mad. "I don't do that cosmetic surgery stuff, if that's what you were wondering. And you could've just asked!"  
  
Just then, the door opened and Iella walked in. "Wedge, I was wondering if." She trailed off at the sight that greeted her eyes. Wedge was prostrate on the floor with Kyp bending over his face. "Ummm. I'm not even going to ask, I'm just going to turn around, turn around and walk away, and pretend I never saw this." She promptly turned and exited, shutting the door behind her.  
  
Kyp got up shamefacedly and dusted himself off. Returning to his former position, he righted his chair and sat down. Taking out his chrono, he noted the time and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, with a groan, Wedge dragged himself up from the floor using his desk as leverage. Picking his own chair up, he sat down heavily and glared at Kyp.  
  
Kyp grinned cheekily and pressed a button on his chrono. "Impressive, General," he smirked. "You're slower than Han by only 30 seconds."  
  
Wedge glared some more, then cleared his throat. "Getting back to business. Are you willing to. er. help me?"  
  
Kyp leaned back. "I still don't understand what you need my help with."  
  
Rubbing his temple, Wedge replied, "Jag has told me he loves Jaina. Jaina told you she loves Jag. But, they've both inherited their respective fathers' knack of being absolutely blind to what is staring them in the face. They'll never get together without a little. shove, you might say."  
  
Kyp grinned. "Precisely what I was thinking, General," he said. "I'll help you. Under one condition."  
  
"Before you ask, no, you can't have the access codes to the Lusankya." Wedge smirked back.  
  
Still grinning, Kyp replied, "You tell Mara."  
  
The smirk ever so slowly slid off Wedge's face. "No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Antilles, she already hates my guts! What do you think she'd do if she ever found out I played the matchmaker with her only niece, for Force's sake??" Kyp shuddered at the mere thought.  
  
Wedge grinned. "Personally, I would consider that to be the best gift I ever got."  
  
Kyp gave a fake little laugh. "Ahahaha, very funny. Seriously, though. The only way to decide this is to flip a cred."  
  
Wedge glared. "Durron, I may look stupid, but I wasn't born yesterday."  
  
"Okay, fine." Kyp replaced the cred in his pocket. "Well, then. What she doesn't know can't hurt her, right?"  
  
Wedge raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting that we keep this pertinent information from Mara Jade, the former Emperor's Hand? Well, Durron, that's the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say in my life." He stuck out his hand and shook Kyp's, the two grinning conspiratorially.  
  
"Wedge, what." Iella came in again and stopped in shock when she saw her husband shaking hands and grinning at Kyp Durron. She slowly backed away. "When am I going to wake up?" she wondered aloud, then retreated and left the room.  
  
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What'd you think? 


	9. Chapter 9

Here it is... Hope you enjoy!!  
  
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Chapter Nine  
  
The next morning, Jaina stepped out of her room and set off down the hallway. Little did she know.  
  
Around the corner, Kyp keyed his comlink. "Target has set out. Operation Woasted 'Tato. Wait a minute-who came up with the operation name?!"  
  
Wedge's chuckle crackled in his ear. "I asked Myri what Ben's favorite food was."  
  
Kyp rolled his eyes. More like you came up with it to make me squirm every time I say it. "Okay, Operation. er, Woasted 'Tato is commencing."  
  
Kyp, dressed entirely in black, slipped around the corner and followed Jaina at a discreet distance. He cloaked his Force presence so she would not sense him following her. If she did. Kyp cringed just to think of it.  
  
He followed her outside, where she began running. Kyp keyed the comlink once more. "Target has begun running. Target started maneuvers at the purple tree on the south side of the base. I'm following in case target does something unexpected."  
  
"Copy," Wedge said.  
  
Kyp followed Jaina for twenty kilometers in a circuit around the base. By the end of the run, he was sweating profusely and panting for breath. "Target-has-reached-base-once more," he gasped.  
  
"Copy. Durron, you sound tired. And thirsty. Too bad you aren't here in this ventilated office, sipping a nice cool drink like I am."  
  
"Sir. Please shut up. I hate you." Kyp clicked the comlink off and wiped his forehead on his sleeve. He narrowed his eyes at Jaina who was barely breathing hard. What I wouldn't give for her physique. he thought wistfully. He stood there replaying the thought over in his head, then grimaced. EWWW!! Never mind!  
  
Kyp snapped out of his daze when Jaina started moving again. "Target is reentering building, most likely headed towards the gymnasium."  
  
"Check. Follow her."  
  
"Copy." And with that, Kyp trotted after Jaina.  
  
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Five standard hours and about 3,000 kilometers later, Operation Woasted 'Tato finally terminated and Kyp showed up at Wedge's office, out of breath and sweating like a bantha.  
  
"Sir," he gasped, throwing a quick salute, then fell into a conveniently placed chair.  
  
Wedge grinned. "I could say so much. but I won't, because I'm that nice."  
  
Kyp rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir, you're just about the nicest guy I know. Except, of course, Palpatine, Vader, Boba Fett, Dengar, Admiral Daala, Zsinj, and Iceheart were all guys that were nicer than you."  
  
"Yes, Iceheart was definitely a guy." Wedge shook his head and brought up a holomap of the base to float above his desk. Kyp leaned forward to look. "Okay, I've traced her route on this map. Tomorrow, you'll follow Jag around and we can transfer his activities here too."  
  
Kyp's mouth fell open. "I have to follow JAG around?!?! Mr. Buff Extraordinaire?? What does he do, run his butt off all day?!?!"  
  
Wedge grinned. "Unfortunately, Durron, I happen to know that my nephew isn't particularly partial to going on twenty-kilometer runs. Yet."  
  
Realization dawned on Kyp. "So it'll be my job to sorta casually ask him to go running with me? And it'll just coincidentally be the same route Jaina takes every morning?"  
  
Wedge grinned back. "Precisely," he said.  
  
"Sorry for asking, but wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if Jaina and Jag were to 'bump into each other' at the tapcaf or something?" Kyp asked.  
  
Wedge looked at Kyp exasperatedly. "How many times do I have to say this, Durron? That might be a good idea if we were dealing with... oh, how should I put it... normal people. But when dealing with Jaina and Jag, we must go to extreme measures to ensure that they hook up."  
  
"But why?" Kyp asked, still daunted with the task of following "Mr. Buff Extraordinaire" around the whole day.  
  
"Because," Wedge said patiently, "like I said before, and the time before that, and the time before that, they're biologically predisposed to make things as difficult as possible. Try to imagine a Han Solo with a double dose of stubbornness and sheer stupidity and a Princess Leia with twice the sass and stubbornness, then quadruple the blindness on both parts and take away Jabba, Vader, Calrissian, space slugs, and other convenient circumstances and you've got yourself our situation."  
  
Kyp was effectively silenced by Wedge's explanation. All he could manage was a half-hearted "Oh."  
  
"Durron, you're a fast learner." Wedge took out a red holocrayon. "If you go this way with Jag, and Jaina goes this way, then you should meet right about there." He marked a big red X on the holomap. "This is, of course, if after you follow my nephew tomorrow, their paths don't cross at a more conducive location."  
  
Kyp frowned. "Wouldn't it be kinda suspicious if we 'just happened' to run into Jaina on our first run? If you'll excuse the pun." He snickered.  
  
Wedge groaned. "Durron, promise me you'll never be a stand-up comedian. That would be as terrible as Tycho being a stripper in some nightclub."  
  
"What was that about me?" Tycho asked indignantly, walking through the door.  
  
Wedge turned off the holomap. "Nothing at all, Tych."  
  
Tycho shook his head. "You know the galaxy's spinning in the wrong direction when Wedge Antilles and Kyp Durron are hunched over a desk looking as guilty as Jedi apprentices."  
  
Kyp grinned. "I had plenty of experience."  
  
Wedge grinned as well. "Me too. I knew Jaina and Jacen growing up."  
  
Tycho just shook his head some more. "Now I see what Iella was talking about. This is too surreal. Oh, and Wedge, before I forget, all of these documents need a reply from General Antilles himself." He tossed a datacard to Wedge then left, muttering something about "bad influences" and "Jedi mind-tricks" and "like Wedge needed any more encouragement."  
  
Wedge turned to Kyp with an innocent look on his face. "Do you have any idea what Tycho could be talking about?" he asked in a voice loud enough to be heard by the retreating pilot.  
  
"No, sir," Kyp replied.  
  
Wedge chuckled and brought the holomap back up. "Well then, back to business." He sighed. "Anyway, if Jag's quarters are here"-he circled a room-"then he should set out through this corridor"-he traced a line-"and then-" Wedge paused with the holocrayon in his hand as footsteps were heard approaching his office.  
  
Iella walked into the room. And stared. And blinked. And turned and ran.  
  
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You know the drill... 


End file.
